美國－－走馬觀花

2018初夏參加了自己的博士畢業典禮，意味著“法定”的學生身份就真的結束了，而作為一個生活學校的學生，才真正入學而已。

因為身邊的小夥伴，即便沒有家人在身旁，畢業典禮也並不孤單。
xxx和我並排而坐，先後在Dr. xxx的陪同下完成hooding，一如既往地周到體貼。
xxx千里迢迢從西班牙帶來了龐大的後援團，爸爸、媽媽、哥哥、哥哥的女朋友，阿姨。他們一一和我貼面擁抱，熱情洋溢的為我歡呼。
xxx 因為要監考的緣故，沒能呆到我hooding ceremony, 還是給了我所有的支援和鼓勵。
xxx 在Ocenell center 外等我，接到她送的花，整個人都是燦爛的。
還有其他各個給我拍照、截圖的小夥伴們，不勝列舉。謝謝你們，讓結束變得像一場重逢。

commencement 結束，正要到正午，天氣炎熱，拍照的心情實在不佳，就回office清理自己的東西。在抽屜最底下，看到13年8月8日從邯鄲到北京的火車票，是8月10日從北京飛Orlando的前奏。不禁感慨，已是“十年蹤跡十年心”。

Gainesville

在找工作和畢業間盤桓，整個人都很沉重。最怕跟周圍的人寒暄，不適合說“好”，也不方便說“不好”。“I am fine” 的潛臺詞是沒有比昨天更壞，至於昨天壞到什麼程度，好像真的只是昨天的事情了。帶著找工作的情緒看以前，所有的情節都被渲染。最好時光能倒流，還能用過去渲染現在。
翻到葉嘉瑩的《我的詩詞道路》，感同身受。“1945年大學畢業後，曾在當時北平之數所私立中學任教。1948年3月，赴南京結婚，是年秋，隨外於職務之遷移轉往臺灣。氣候一年，甫生一女，即遭遇憂患，除一直未段教學之工作，藉以勉強餬口撫養幼嬰之外，蓋嘗拋棄筆墨不事研讀寫作者，有數年之久。” 可能，順風順水不一定就是人生的最優解吧？

紐約

Friends

最後的最後，以非常冠冕堂皇的acknowledgement來結束吧。
After an intensive period of five years, it is finally time to write the acknowledgments. It was a period of intense learning, not only in the academic area but also on a personal level. I would like to reflect on the people who have always been supportive throughout this period.
I am especially indebted to Dr. xxx, chair of my committee, who have been supportive of my career goals and who worked actively to help me pursue those goals. She definitely provided me with the tools that I needed to choose the right direction and successfully complete my dissertation. As my advisor, she has taught me more than I could ever give her credit for here. She has shown me, by her example, what a good scholar and woman should be. I would like to appreciate my committee members, Dr. xxx, Dr. xxx, Dr. xxx, and Dr. xxx. They have been giving me insightful comments and suggestions to improve my dissertation.
I must express my gratitude to my families. I was continually amazed by my parents’ willingness to hear all of the ups and downs of my research and life. They are always there for me whenever I turn to them. I would particularly like to single out my brother and sister in law, who takes amazing care of my parents and me.
Completing this work would have been all the more difficult were it not for the support and friendship provided by my friends and colleagues. I am indebted to their continued support and encouragement in writing my dissertation, and to their selfless share of academic and life tips with me.

親愛的自己，也謝謝你不曾放棄。