美国－－走马观花

2018初夏参加了自己的博士毕业典礼，意味着“法定”的学生身份就真的结束了，而作为一个生活学校的学生，才真正入学而已。

因为身边的小伙伴，即便没有家人在身旁，毕业典礼也并不孤单。
xxx和我并排而坐，先后在Dr. xxx的陪同下完成hooding，一如既往地周到体贴。
xxx千里迢迢从西班牙带来了庞大的后援团，爸爸、妈妈、哥哥、哥哥的女朋友，阿姨。他们一一和我贴面拥抱，热情洋溢的为我欢呼。
xxx 因为要监考的缘故，没能呆到我hooding ceremony, 还是给了我所有的支援和鼓励。
xxx 在Ocenell center 外等我，接到她送的花，整个人都是灿烂的。
还有其他各个给我拍照、截图的小伙伴们，不胜列举。谢谢你们，让结束变得像一场重逢。

commencement 结束，正要到正午，天气炎热，拍照的心情实在不佳，就回office清理自己的东西。在抽屉最底下，看到13年8月8日从邯郸到北京的火车票，是8月10日从北京飞Orlando的前奏。不禁感慨，已是“十年踪迹十年心”。

Gainesville

在找工作和毕业间盘桓，整个人都很沉重。最怕跟周围的人寒暄，不适合说“好”，也不方便说“不好”。“I am fine” 的潜台词是没有比昨天更坏，至于昨天坏到什么程度，好像真的只是昨天的事情了。带着找工作的情绪看以前，所有的情节都被渲染。最好时光能倒流，还能用过去渲染现在。
翻到叶嘉莹的《我的诗词道路》，感同身受。“1945年大学毕业后，曾在当时北平之数所私立中学任教。1948年3月，赴南京结婚，是年秋，随外于职务之迁移转往台湾。气候一年，甫生一女，即遭遇忧患，除一直未段教学之工作，藉以勉强餬口抚养幼婴之外，盖尝抛弃笔墨不事研读写作者，有数年之久。” 可能，顺风顺水不一定就是人生的最优解吧？

纽约

Friends

最后的最后，以非常冠冕堂皇的acknowledgement来结束吧。
After an intensive period of five years, it is finally time to write the acknowledgments. It was a period of intense learning, not only in the academic area but also on a personal level. I would like to reflect on the people who have always been supportive throughout this period.
I am especially indebted to Dr. xxx, chair of my committee, who have been supportive of my career goals and who worked actively to help me pursue those goals. She definitely provided me with the tools that I needed to choose the right direction and successfully complete my dissertation. As my advisor, she has taught me more than I could ever give her credit for here. She has shown me, by her example, what a good scholar and woman should be. I would like to appreciate my committee members, Dr. xxx, Dr. xxx, Dr. xxx, and Dr. xxx. They have been giving me insightful comments and suggestions to improve my dissertation.
I must express my gratitude to my families. I was continually amazed by my parents’ willingness to hear all of the ups and downs of my research and life. They are always there for me whenever I turn to them. I would particularly like to single out my brother and sister in law, who takes amazing care of my parents and me.
Completing this work would have been all the more difficult were it not for the support and friendship provided by my friends and colleagues. I am indebted to their continued support and encouragement in writing my dissertation, and to their selfless share of academic and life tips with me.

亲爱的自己，也谢谢你不曾放弃。